Main Street Baptist Church

(Saturday, Jan 3, 2009) Recently I went to the pulmonary doctor and he said there is fluid on one of my lungs, and I may have COPD or emphysema.

I am in recovery from a double bypass about eleven weeks ago. So, when he told me this, I was quite upset and went into a depression.

I wrote emails to my sisters in Christ and asked them to pray. This morning I woke up and felt very different. I had great peace. Last night I made a CONSCIOUS CHOICE to trust the LORD. Without prayer, I know I wouldn't make it.

I am learning to practice HIS Presence. I see the LORD standing next to me and telling me that HE is in control, that nothing will happen that HE doesn't want to happen.

It took a long time just to get to this point. He must work IN me to change me. All the problems and frustrations just drive me back to HIM.

Usually when I get bad news I go into a very deep depression and cannot function, but over the years, the LORD is impressing on me to look to HIM and HE is in control. As the song goes, "When you can't hear my voice, trust my plan."

I know it is very, very hard to trust God when you are hurting, and I am hurting very bad right now. I have battled depression most of my life and I am to the point now that I am much too tired and weak to try and fight with God. I did go into a depression when the doctor told me about the fluid on my lungs, but through all the prayers said for me, the LORD gave me peace, the peace that passes all understanding (Phil. 4:7). My world spins out of control, but the peace of God is there. You can't understand it, but you do have peace, even though your world is in chaos.

It IS a process. It took me a long time to get where I am now. When I can't go on anymore, I call for help. Email or a phone call to ask someone to pray when you can't pray is a life saver. My brothers and sisters in Christ hold me up in prayer and that is how I am able to go on every day, even in horrible circumstances. Please reach out to someone. You cannot heal in isolation, and the LORD doesn't want us to be isolated. We are to hold each other up. Reach out to your brothers and sisters in Christ. They love you, and so do I.

Paul says, "I have LEARNED to be content whatever the circumstances." (Phil. 4:11). Trusting God doesn't come overnight. He uses the circumstances in our life to drive us back to Him. It is a CONSCIOUS CHOICE that you make to trust Him.

I said, "LORD, I know you know what's happening to me and you know there is fliud on my lung. I CHOOSE to trust you, and whatever happens, it is YOUR will. If You want to heal me now, it will be healed. If not, You will use this to help someone else, or to show YOUR faithfulness to others.